A Christmas of Firsts

I have spent quite a few Christmas's in America over the last decade; I actually think that I have spent 5 Christmas's in America. But I hadn't until this Christmas been here for the build up- Advent.

It's quite hard- I have come to realise- to have once lived in a Catholic retreat centre to then move out of the catholic spiritual world in to the real one where Advent isn't such a big thing. Over the last few years advent has been marked by certain elements of tradition and particular actions. This Advent was marked in part for me by new approaches, new understandings.

It passed quickly more quickly than I had anticipated and then I had wanted. But as we all know Christmas come after Advent and, I had been very much looking forward to this Christmas.

And although marked by it hastily migrating into Christmas Advent offered a real sense of challenge and preparation.

The idea of challenge is often set aside for Lent, with people giving up stuff or things or taking on board something else. But this year there was a real sense that advent was too, a period of challenge. Challenged to think about things differently, challenged to find new ways to prepare. Then came the realisation that actually, Advent has to be challenge. It has to involve difficulty, doubt and confusion. In the same way that as Mary expected Jesus, as millions of families, couples, single parents wait for the coming of their joy, they have to deal with a huge range of feelings, doubts areas of confusions.

Once this realisation has sunk in (it still is) it made for a more enjoyable and less self critical but more self aware advent and Christmas.

Christmas brought with it a great peace and a range of emotion; sadness at what Christmas once was for me and how far I along with the rest of my family have travelled literally and figuratively over the last 10 years, joy and happiness at the beauty of the celebration of Christmas that I was part of, it goes on.

But the was a very large land mark event over my Christmas and as so often the case has come to be my nephew Brendan hard his part to play in it. I am happy to report Brendan caught his first fish under the guidance of his chief fishing uncle. I should point out that I had spent somewhere in the region of3 days without even so much as a bite. Then I bring in the big gun in the form of the very loud bouncy 40lbs 3 and a half year old who within around 4 mins of fishing had caught a rather large (over a foot long) cat fish.